


Surrender

by Nina78Leigh



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Based on the lyrics of Roger Taylors song Surrender, Character Death, Domestic Violence, Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Murder, Original Character(s), Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:36:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21663625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nina78Leigh/pseuds/Nina78Leigh
Summary: * A series of short snippets based on Roger Taylor's song Surrender.* No Queen members included in the story* TRIGGER WARNING: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SUICIDE, MURDER - please please bear these in mind when reading.* 4 different possible outcomes to a life of domestic violence. One nice ending (the first one), three not so nice. Each chapter notes give a very brief explanation of the content of that chapter.* This has been insisting on being written every since I heard the song. I hope I have done justice to the outcomes. If more tags/warnings are needed please please tell me.
Kudos: 2





	1. Surrender lyrics

Surrender  
Roger Meddows Taylor  


Same cycle happen every day  
Same characters same play  
My game plan's become clear  
Gotta find a way out of here  
There ain't no place to run  
No welcome mat in my home  
No love here, no life  
He want a punchbag, not a wife 

You can't hurt me now  
You can't hurt me now  
You can't hurt me now, I'm gone from you  
You can't hurt me now  
You can't hurt me now  
You can't reach me where I've gone to  
I surrender  
I surrender 

No hope left, just pain  
Whiskey on his breath, violence in his brain  
Scared kids, with scarred minds  
Surrender reason, love is blind  
Surrender life, surrender love  
Surrender belief in God above  
Surrender hope, bow down to fear  
Surrender life, there ain't much here 

You can't hurt me now  
You can't hurt me now  
You can't hurt me now, I'm gone from you  
You can't hurt me now  
You can't hurt me now  
You can't reach me where I've gone to  
I surrender  
I surrender  
I surrender  
I surrender  
You can't reach me, you can't reach me  
You can't reach me, you can't reach me  
I surrender  
You can't hurt me, You can't hurt me  
I surrender  
I surrender  
I surrender

[Youtube Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWVP2214e6k)


	2. "You can't hurt me now, I'm gone from you"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Escape

He's gone overnight with work. The week's housekeeping left on the table. But this time, it won't be spent on this house. The children are not going to school this morning, instead they are upstairs, each packing a bag with their special items. It hurts that they only need a small rucksack each to hold all their toys, their books, everything they own except the small number of clothes they have. Their clothes are already packed in the suitcase that stands at the bottom of the stairs, along with my clothes and all other important items. The handful of photographs of the three of us, our birth certificates, the child benefit book. They think we are going on holiday. They don't realise that this is the start of the rest of our lives. The housekeeping, the birthday money I managed to hide from their cards last week, the little I have managed to put aside over the recent weeks along with the child benefit I will claim in town, it will enable us to go to Devon, to go to my aunt's house. We can stop there for a while, long enough for me to find a job, get a property we can afford. He won't look for us there, he has never paid attention to my family, I don't think he is even aware I have family outside this town. 

Freedom and the space for the children to grow up without fear. It's going to be hard, moving somewhere they know no-one, and I know very few people. But stopping here is worse. I can't protect them from him forever, and if he should do anything to me they are at his mercy. Anything will be better than this. My ribs hurt, my torso is black and blue, my scalp scratched to shreds, and it hurts to walk. But this is the last time. No more. Today starts the first day of our lives, and yesterday the last day of our hell.


	3. "You can't reach me where I've gone to"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dissociation

He's come home from the pub once again, angry at the world. Come in and started taking it out on me. The kids are in bed, and will sleep through thanks to the Phenergan* I had them take before reading their story. I know he is hurting me, know I will be in pain walking tomorrow, but I feel nothing at the moment. I've slipped away to my happy place, slipped away to the fantasy I have of someone who rewards me for what I do well, not punish me for what I haven't done. I'm spending time with my hero, the one who takes me away and spends the rest of my life cuddling me, kissing me with his lips, not his fists. Making love to me in a soft bed, not forcing his pleasure whenever he pleases. He can break my body, but my mind is in my happy place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Phenergan (promethazine) is a first generation anti histamine medication which has a possible sedative effect - used in this instance to ensure the children do not wake up and incur their fathers wrath.


	4. "You can't hurt me, You can't hurt me"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parent/child - murder/suicide

I can't do it any more. It's all got too much. The looks of pity from the neighbours, the staff at school asking if everything is alright at home. As long as he only went for me, I could put up with it, but he's hurting my beautiful boy as well now, all he did was try and protect me. There's no other way out for us, no way for us to escape, where-ever we go he will find us, will hurt us again and again. I have no-one who can help us, no parent willing to put me up - I've made my bed, now I have to lie in it! There is no way for us to survive, I have no money, no way to cope without him, but if we stay he will hurt my baby again and my gorgeous boy deserves better than that. I've used the week's housekeeping money, brought us to the seaside for the day. Time on the sand, fish and chips for lunch. The best day ever. This afternoon we'll walk up to the top of the cliff, then once my baby boy falls asleep I'll save us both, the only way I can.


	5. "I surrender"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murder

His hands are around my throat, and I'm sure this time is it, there will be no reprieve this time. I'm just grateful the kids are with my parents. They won't have to find me tomorrow. 

It's so hard to breathe, his hands are tighter. I wish I knew what I could have done, what I needed to do to be good, to stop him needing to punish me, to hurt me. No matter how clean the house, no matter what I wore, or didn't, no matter how well behaved the children, nothing was ever good enough.

I cant feel the pain any more, my body battered and bruised, the arm I'm sure is broken, the eye that I won't have to cover with makeup tomorrow.

I'm so sorry, my babies. Sorry mummy has to leave you now. I love you.


End file.
